We already know Roy Moore's positions on crime and immigration. But what about his position on children?

What is Roy Moore's favorite piano key? A minor

*knocks on door* You're too fat. "Wha--" You're way too dumb. "Wait--who.." Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one.

I just took enough Vicodin to kill a medium-sized Chipmunk. RIP Roy. Roy's the hypothetical Chipmunk. I named him. Has anyone seen my legs??