Turkey bacon is a lot like normal bacon except that IT'S NOT AND IT NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE IT CAME FROM.

[soup kitchen] *homeless man is handed a plate* What the hell is this? -Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!

I shot my first turkey today! But I scared the hell out of everyone in the meat section.

I shot my first turkey today... ..It sure scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section