Two Golfers Harry and Fred were playing their Sunday afternoon golf game. The game, as always, was close. They were at the treacherous 12th hole: a par three that required a perfect first shot over a large pond and onto a tiny green. There were sand traps on the other three sides of the green, and a small road 50 feet beyond it. Harry went first. He carefully addressed the ball and hit a good shot that landed just on the edge of the green, narrowly avoiding the pond. Just as Fred addressed his b…

Playing Golf So, I got home late after a round of golf. My wife was waiting for me, and boy, she was pissed. ""Where were you?!"" she demanded to know. ""Well,"" I sighed, ""I was out playing a round of golf with Fred from HR, and he had a heart attack on the 10th hole."" ""That's terrible!"" she exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock. ""Yeah,"" I said. ""The rest of the time it was 'Hit the ball. Drag Fred. Hit the ball. Drag Fred...'""

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. ""Bad day at the course?"" his wife asked. ""Everything was going fine"" he said. ""Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."" ""Oh that's awful!"" ""You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball drag Harry hit the ball drag Harry.""

Three old guys are hanging out in the nursing home They're old friends, and every day they sit together and shoot the breeze. One day, Bob, the 70 year old, says "You know, I don't mind getting old. I can still play golf, flirt with the ladies - life's good! But you know what I miss? I miss peeing. Lord, I haven't had a good piss in years - I'd give anything for a good long piss!" Fred, the 80 year old, replies: "Well Bob, life's pretty damn good for me too. But the thing I miss, is pooping. …