A married couple are awakened one night by a knock on the door Who the hell is that, they both said, so the husband went down to answer. He opened the front door to find an apologetic man. HUSBAND ;"" Its 3 am, what the hell do you want. MAN ;""sorry sir but a need a push"". HUSBAND ;""No"" (closes door). Back in the bedroom he fills his wife in. WIFE;""Go back out and help him, remember that night on our honeymoon in France when our hire cars battery died? What goes around comes around"". So th…

Quasimodo's had it. Sixty years climbing the steps. Sixty years ringing the bell. He's ready to retire, get a little house in the country for him and the little lady. Puts an ad on Craigslist ""Bell ringer wanted. Inquire Quasimodo, Notre Dame."" Next day, there's a knock at the door. Quasi opens it, looks out, there's no one there. Then he hears a voice coming from somewhere down around his knees: ""Excuse me, sir. Are you Mr. Quasimodo?"" Quasimodo looks down, there's a guy with no arms and no…

An Irishman, a Frenchman, and an Afghani man are riding around the world in a balloon... When they are over Ireland, the Irish man picks up an enormous bag of potatoes and says I'm giving my country this bag of potatoes, in hopes that some hungry souls can find happiness from full bellies.' He tossed the bag of potatoes over the edge of the balloon's basket. The Frenchman and the Afghani man think giving things to their countries is a wonderful idea. They set course for France where the Frenchma…

A guy in France is sent by his wife to buy a dozen snails at the market... His wife warns him ""I don't want you to stop at the bar on your way home! I want you to go to the market, buy the snails and then come straight home just after. You always find an excuse to get drunk, not this time if you know what's good for you!"" The guy agrees, takes his basket and goes to the market. On his way home, he passes in front of the bar. What the hell, he thinks, if I just take one drink the wife will neve…