A boy sits in class watching the clock when the teacher stands up in front of the class And tells the class since there isn't much time before the end of class and it was Friday she will play a game with them. She explains the rules. Teacher: Guess which president said the quote and you can leave early. The boy is excited this is his favorite subject and he knows he is going home early today. Teacher: "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country." The boy r…

Did you hear about that time a hitman held a writer at gunpoint and forced him to write for Amy Schumer? The hitman warned him, “Don’t get any funny ideas!”

Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer One cannibal asked the other: Do you think this tastes a little.. funny? The other cannibal replied: No.

What's the difference between racism and Amy Schumer? Amy Schumer is not funny.