Little Timmy's english lesson... ...was about food today. "Good morning class" says the teacher, "today's lesson is about food! Let's start by mentioning things we can eat. Come on kids." Sally raises her arm "bread!" "Very good, Sally!" Says the teacher. "Cornflakes!" says Billy. "Good one, cornflakes! Anyone else?" Timmy raises his hand and yells "Lamps!' The teacher pauses for a moment, confused: "Lamps? You can't eat lamps, what made you think that?" Timmy: "well last night I was wa…

A scientist, a doctor and a janitor discover an old lamp... The scientist rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie pops out! ""Thank you for releasing me!"" said the genie, ""You can have anything you like, providing you do one days work of a different profession. You may choose what you want to do."" The scientist goes first, ""Well I've always thought that being a kindergarten teacher would be an easy job."" BAM! The scientist is transported to a kindergarten. The scientist begins his lesson by a…

Timmy's Cream Cake So, little 10 year old Timmy is fast asleep and his sister is in the bunk above with her boyfriend who were going at it like Ready Steady Cook. They devised a secret language which they would use so that Timmy's family wouldn't know what was going on! Flour = Faster Water = Slower Eggs = Just like that ... So, they're going at it, screaming ""Flour, flour, flour. Eggs. That's it. More flour... water, ohh... eggs."" It goes on like that throughout the night until the pair decid…

Sorry wait for 9 months A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went through each day, so he prayed :- ""Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours of hard work, while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies"". God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for…