Appropriate for Election Season A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and asks his profession. The man says he was a politician. ""Ah,"" says St. Peter, ""then you may choose whether you would like to go to heaven or hell. You may spend one week in heaven, then one week in hell. At the end of the two weeks, you may decide where you would likes to spend the rest of eternity."" So the man goes first to heaven. Everyone sits around peacefully strumming their harps a…

A cabbie and a priest die at the same time ... and arrive at the gates of heaven. St. peter looks at the cabbie's records and exclaims, ""welcome to heaven good sir!"" before giving him a golden silk robe and keys to a villa. Looking at the spectacle in front of him, the priest thinks he's set. When he arrives, St. Peter looks at his chart and says, ""you'll do"" before giving him a somewhat old robe and keys to what looked like an apartment. The priest looks astonished and asks the angel why he…

Three sisters died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, St Peter warns them, 'There is only one rule in heaven: you must not step on any of the ducks.' And he sent them on their merry way. Upon entering, the three sisters notice that the grounds are riddled with ducks waddling about. Remembering the rule, they stepped carefully. However, it was a mere 3 days in before the eldest sister steps on a duck. The second she does so, an angel appeared with a ugly man. The ugly man is chained to the …

Three men arrive at the gates of heaven and are greeted by St. Peter who introduces them to an angel to show them where they would be staying. These men were greeted by this angel who says to them ""You're going to be spending a lot of time here in heaven and there is a lot to see, but first I'll show you where you guys will be staying."" So they began down the gold streets and into a neighborhood with large houses, the types of houses that you would find in the wealthiest part of town. They arr…