It's Christmas and three men die in a fiery wreck. They arrive at the Pearly Gates and are met by Saint Peter. ""Since it's Christmas the anniversary of the birth of our Saviour, to get into heaven you just need to show me some Christmas spirit and you may have eternal peace."" The first guy takes out his keys and shakes them. ""Jingle Bells"" he says. ""Alright."" Says Saint Peter. ""You're in"" The second guy pulls out his lighter and lights it. ""Candle."" he says, ""Yup."" Says Saint Peter. …

Three dead men arrive at Saint Peter's gates... Saint Peter explains that before they are allowed in, they need to tell him the story of their death. The first man explains, "Well, I was having a bad day at work, so I left early and came home. When I got to my apartment, I noticed that my wife was there, and loud moans were coming from the bedroom. I thought she might have a man in there so I ran and got my hammer, and couldn't help but start shouting that I was going to kill him. I get into t…

Three guys die and find themselves at the Pearly Gates Three guys die and go to heaven. They find themselves standing before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, past the gates they can see a long road which seems to stretch up higher and higher into the clouds, and out of sight. Saint Peter looks to the first man and asks him ""How many times have you cheated on your wife?"" to which the man replies ""Never."" Then with a snap of his fingers a lamborghini murcielago appears on the road beyond the n…

My grandfather told me, that before he dies he wants to learn Latin. Me: ""Why do you want to learn Latin before you die?"" Grandfather: ""So that when I die and go to Heaven, I can talk with Saint Peter and he'll be impressed by me talking Latin with him"" Me: ""But what if you go to Hell instead of Heaven?"" Grandfather: ""That won't be a problem... I already speak German""