u have one (1) new dad. click here to accept Todd.

[bank robbery] "Todd, where the hell is the getaway car?" TODD: *zooming up on a Segway* FOSSIL FUELS ARE RUINING THIS PLANET, GARY

"What should we name this fruit?" "Passion!" "..." "..." "Let's not let Todd name any more fruits."

Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*