An Irishman walked down an alley in Belfast... A thug jumped from the shadows and pointed a gun at him. ""Millie up, ya Croppy shite!"" Said the thug. ""I'll blast yer papist skull!"" ""Bite the back o' me bullocks with that Blarney."" Replied the Irishman. ""I'm no Catholic, ya fookin eejit."" ""Ha!"" Said the thug. ""Good craic! I tricked ya. I knew ya was a gee-bag Orangeman. Time to die, Protty!"" ""Stay a little, ya mingin' muppet!"" Urged the Irishman. ""Begorah, I'm no Protestant either!"…

A Church in Ireland needed a bellringer... ...for their new belltower, so they put out an advert in the local paper. *Bellringer needed for the dawn bell. Large bell, strength needed. Apply in person at the church* Sure enough, the next day there is a knock on the door. Father Angus answers, eager to meet the applicant. Standing in the doorway is a young man, smile on his face, ready to work, however there is an obvious issue - he has **no arms.** ""Mornin, Father. Here about the bellringer job,…

Irish dirt farmers There was a poor dirt farming family in Ireland. All they had was this one milk cow. The would turn the milk to cheese and sell at the market to buy food. Well, one morning, the father wakes up and sees the milk cow dead. So he hangs himself in the tree. The mother wakes up, sees the milk cow dead and her husband hanging from the tree and throws herself into the river and she washes up on the shore. The oldest son wakes up, sees the milk cow dead, his father hanged and, by his…

A nun sits outside a pub in Ireland... A man walks up to the pub and is about to go into it when the nun starts shouting. "BEFORE YOU ENTER THIS DEN OF SIN, THINK OF YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER!" He said back to the nun. "They're dead, they're dead and in heaven" The nun went for a different tack and said. "Think then! Think of the damage the alcohol will do to your brain!" "What? Whatever are ye talking about? Have you ever had a drink?" And the nun said no. "Well how the hell can you…