Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines) Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied ""Ya, well I sew women's underpants."" He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check. Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied ""Diesel fitter."" He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check…

An illustrious Count, Wictor Oblodowsky, agrees to conduct Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a Baltimore gym. He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player. After an uneventful flight and some trouble getting the timpani through customs, the weary orchestra checks into their hotel. The performanc…

Oli and sven One day Oli and Sven went out ice fishing. The started drilling into the ice and from above a voice boomed "" there are no fish under the ice!"" Heeding the advice the duo moved about 20 Feet and started drilling again. Again the the voice boomed ""there are no fish under the ice!"" Oli gazed up and asked ""are you god?!"" ""No"" the voice said ""I am the hockey rink manager!""

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you? Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.' The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Minnesota…