The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer... So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community? The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is …

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said ""I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.""

Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."

Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.