It's a hard life. Very long but a goodun: There once was a large large city and within this large large city was a large large park, within this there was a large large lake. By the shore of this stood a normal sized bench; on it their lived a hobo. This unfortunate gentleman lived their 365 days a year come rain or shine doing his best to get buy feasting on the pigeons and rats of the park whilst begging to support his addiction to drinking bleach. It is winter; our poor friend has just awoken…

A man is stranded on a deserted island for 10 years. One day, a gorgeous blond woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear arrives on the island. She comes up to the man and says, ""How long has it been since you had a cigarette?"" ""Ten years!"" he answers. She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, ""Man, oh man! Is that ever good!"" Then she asks, ""How long has it been since you …

A guy walks into a bar... At the other end of the bar, he sees a sailor with a head the size of an orange. Curious, he puts a few drinks back and builds up the courage to ask the guy what happened. Sailor: Many years ago, I was on a ship that capsized on a deserted island. When I came to, I heard a whimpering sound coming from behind a giant rock. When I went to investigate, I found a mermaid! She offered me three wishes if I would bring her back to the water. So, I picked her up and brought her…

Stranded Irishman One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. ""It's certainly not a ship,"" he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned man and says to him, ""Tell me how long has it been since…