Irish Wife At the 1998 World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up: ""At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."" The crowd cheered. The second speaker from Ame…

There was an Englishman, a Frenchmen and a Japanese man sitting at a bar. They were all in good spirits, complimenting each others countries and their achievements. But they also pointed out the strange customs too. It was the Englishman and the Frenchman who spoke first about Japan. They said, ""Japan is such a fine country which has provided the world with so many useful things. But you still eat seaweed!"" Then it was the Englishman and the Japanese man who spoke about France. They said, ""Fr…

A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: ""George and the Dragon."" He knocked. The innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. ""Could ye spare some victuals?"" he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. ""No!"" she said rather sternly. ""Could I have a pint of ale?"" ""No!"" she said again. ""Could I at least sleep in your stable?"" ""No!"" By this time, she was fairly shouting. Th…

Two Viking invaders are trudging up the beach in the pouring rain. One looks skywards and says ""So this is England. What's it like?"" The other snarls ""Well if you like the weather you'll love the food.""