Spent over an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.#Marriage#Dark Humor9225🔗 ShareWhatsApp
NEW! "How to Act" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!#Kristen Stewart#Marriage#Dark Humor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Wife: Are you still tweeting about me being in labor? Me: Now I'm live tweeting "The Walking Dead." Wife: Me: Everything isn't about you.#Marriage#Dark Humor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"Don't move or she's dead" was the last thing the wife heard before the husband started tap dancing.#Marriage#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
My wife said if she heard me chewing one more time, she was going to murder me. So I stole the batteries from her hearing aids.#Marriage#Dark Humor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp