Why did the retired German soldier become a horse doctor? Because he was a Veteran Aryan

What is the difference between an animal doctor and a retired Nazi? One is a veterinarian, and the other is a Veteran Aryan.

A friend's father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as "Your grandmother's in the hospital. LOL."

Sitting with Grandma at the hospital. She noticed me checking my watch and said, "Go on Dummy. I know brunch is almost over at the tit bar."