Whata country.. You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores. He says, ""On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk -- you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice -- you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to my self, ""What a country!""

The President of the United States, a priest, the world's smartest black man, and an 8 year old girl are on a crashing plane with 3 parachutes... The President takes the first parachute and says, ""I'm the President of the United States, America won't be able to function without me!"" And jumps out of the plane. Next, the world's smartest black man takes the second parachutes and says, "" I'm the world's smartest black man, the world needs me!"" And jumps out of the plane. Finally, the priest sa…

Being an election year, I thought this one was timely A guy meets and old buddy of his at a store that he hadn't seen in about fifteen years. He noticed that his friend had a ten year old son. The guy says to the kid, ""What do you want to be when you grow up, young man?"" ""I want to be President of the United States!"", the kid proudly says, ""I'm a Democrat, just like my dad!"" The guy says, ""That's pretty ambitious, young man. It take a lot of work to be President. To teach you the value of…

In the United States they say ""It's ten o'clock, do you know where your child is?""... In France they say ""It's ten o'clock, do you know where your spouse is?"" And in Poland they say ""It's ten o'clock, do you know what time it is?""