Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are sitting in a bar. The bartender sees them chatting, so he goes over to them and says ""Wow, what an honor to have the two of you here! What are you guys talking about?"" Trump responds with ""We are planning our tactics for World War III."" Curious, the bartender asks ""Really? What're your plans?"" ""We are going to kill 100 million Muslims, and one hot blonde chick with a nice rack"" says Trump. ""Really? Why the blonde chick?"" the bartender replies with. Trump t…

Hillary, Trump, and Cruz walk into a bar Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Ted Cruz walk into a bar on Christmas Eve. Hillary tells the bartender: "Good evening, my man! Pour me a drink, I'm tired and thirsty from all the campaigning." Donald Trump then says: "Merry Christmas! I want a drink too." He then looks closely at the bartender and says, "You are incredibly ugly. And bald. I hate ugly people. I have always been a very beautiful man. Because I'm beautiful and a winner and ahead…

Why does Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election? Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are together on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sinks, who survives? America.