Hillary Clinton collapsed on the street again and had to be rushed to her daughter's apartment for treatment... The attending physician asked, ""Are you still an alcoholic?"" ""No,"" Hillary indignantly replied. ""That's good,"" said the doctor, ""When did you quit?"" She answered, ""Earlier this morning.""

Why do you make more money? A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?" The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is…

So a woman walks out of a doctor's office and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says : - What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ? - No ma'am, CANCER !

What did the Doctor say to the midget in the waiting room? "You're going to have to be a little patient"