To the citizens of the USA from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. In the light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except …

Not a woman or a farmer, but a Polish man goes to a divorce lawyer.... A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day the Polish man rushed into a lawyer's office and asked the lawyer if the lawyer could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: *Have you any grounds?* Yes, an acre and half and…

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up. The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin.