Did you hear the CEO of Honda wont be back next year? He's leaving of his own accord. Edit: grammar.

A little girl was walking home from school when a man on a motorcycle pulled up beside her. Man: Hey little girl, want to ride on the back of my motorcycle? Girl: No. Man: Come on sweetie, I'll give you five dollars if you ride with me. Girl: Get away from me or I'll call the cops. Man: How about twenty dollars, just get on the back with me. Girl: (Starts running) No way! Man: Okay, final offer, twenty dollars and a bag of candy. Girl: Look, Dad, you had to buy a Honda instead of a Harl…

Did you hear about that guy who was crushed by his Honda? Police say he died of his own Accord.

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion? An Accordion.