"Jesus take the wheel" -an Asian man telling the police that a Mexican guy stole his rims off his Honda Civic.

What's going on? A policeman passes a parking lot around midnight and notices a couple in a parked car. He stops to investigate and sees a man in the driver's seat and a young lady in the backseat, quietly reading a magazine. The officer knocks on the window and asks whats going on. "Listening to music," the guy says. Pointing toward the lady in the backseat, the officer asks, "And what's she doing?" "Reading a magazine, of course." "How old are you?" asks the officer. "I'm 28." "And how …

Did you hear the CEO of Honda wont be back next year? He's leaving of his own accord. Edit: grammar.

German guy at the French border. A German guy is at the French border. The French customs officer asks him some questions. -Name? *-Karl Schmidt.* -Place of Residence? *-Munich.* -Occupation? *-Oh, no, no. I'm just visiting.* (Translated from an /r/French comment: http://www.reddit.com/r/French/comments/1jrq1z/tell_me_a_joke_in_french/cbhnivu)