[desert island diary - day 1] 4:15 pm: Got one call out of my cell phone before it died. Now I wait. 5:25 pm: That pizza is definitely free

[stranded on deserted island] *spells out message in rocks* WHAT'S THE WIFI PASSWORD

It's a hard life. Very long but a goodun: There once was a large large city and within this large large city was a large large park, within this there was a large large lake. By the shore of this stood a normal sized bench; on it their lived a hobo. This unfortunate gentleman lived their 365 days a year come rain or shine doing his best to get buy feasting on the pigeons and rats of the park whilst begging to support his addiction to drinking bleach. It is winter; our poor friend has just awoken…

So there are two blondes stranded on an island.... One of them finds a lamp, rubs it, and a genie pops out. He says, ""I shall grant you each one wish"". The blonde who rubbed the lamp requests a cell phone to call for help, however, it was useless because there was no reception on the island. The second blonde said, ""I want to be smarter than this other blonde!"" So, the genie pointed her to the bridge.