The Wire Brush An Army officer decides to inspect soldiers recovering in one of the field hospitals he commands. He marches into one of the tents, goes up to the first private he sees and barks, ""What's your affliction, private?"" Standing at attention, ""Venereal warts, SIR!"" He then asks, ""And what treatment are you getting?"" ""Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"" Finally he asks, ""And what's your ambition, soldier?"" ""To get back to the frontline, SIR!"" He goes up to the…

During World War II, four men are captured by the German forces... During World War II, four prisoners are captured and brought back to a German base, set to await the death penalty in their cells. The prisoners are a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman and an Englishman. One morning, a German officer comes in and tells the prisoners, ""You are to be lined up and each shot in turn, but before you are shot you get a final wish."" The Scotsman says, ""Before I'm shot I'd like to hear Highland Cathed…

War has broken out.... War has broken out and conscription is enforced. John's birthday is called and he is summoned for basic training. Once he completes his training, he is sent straight to the front. Upon arriving, he finds out that there is a shortage of weapons. His commanding officer tells him that it's ok, because they have come to an agreement with the enemy, and whoever raises their finger guns first and says ""bang, bang"", the other soldier will fall to the ground as if they were dead…

Army Wargames During an Army war game, a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck. ""Sorry sir, ""said one of the loafers, ""but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."" The officer turned to his driver and said, ""Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction."" They helped.