A man walked into a restaurant with his dog. The manager quickly intercepted them, saying: "I'm sorry, we don't allow dogs in here." "But this is a special talking dog," said the man. "I've heard it all before," said the manager. "People are always coming in and claiming to have talking dogs. But I'm a fair man: if that dog can speak, you can both eat here for free." "Okay," said the dog owner. "Ask him a question." "Right, dog, what's above this restaurant?" The dog growled: "Rrrrooof!" "I thought so!" said the manager. "He's a fraud. Now get out, the pair of you!" On their way out, the man and dog looked up. "Oh, sorry!" said the dog. "I didn't realize there was a hairdresser's above the restaurant." What do you call a poodle with no legs? A sponge. Dogs have no money. They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No pockets. Jerry Seinfeld