An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," replied the gallery owner. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered whether it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings." "That's great!" exclaimed the artist. "So what's the bad news?" "The man was your doctor." You Know You're an Artist When . . . The only piece of new furniture you have in your home is a $2,000 easel. You butter your toast with your fingers, just to feel its texture. The highlights in your hair are from your palette and not Clairol. You are more concerned about the colour of your car than its fuel consumption. There are Prussian Blue fingerprints on your phone. Your brushes are immaculate but your hair is unkempt. Your family takes out a life insurance plan on you for less than $5,000. Your "best" clothes are the ones with only small paint smears on them. You clean your brushes in your coffee mug. You refer to your relationship with your partner as "a work in progress". A bowl of fruit is something to be painted rather than eaten. You know the difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white and eggshell. The last five items of clothing you bought were all smocks. You get excited about the football season because it means your partner will be sitting still on the sofa long enough for you to paint him. You do judge a book by its cover. AUTOMOBILES