I spend 90% of my time in Texas doing u-turns under highway overpasses trying to get somewhere I can see but can't drive to for some reason.

A Blind Man Goes For A Holiday A blind man goes for a holiday in Texas. He took a taxi from the airport to his hotel. He could sense that the taxi was very big and spacious. He said to the driver, ""Wow, you have a big taxi!"" The driver replied, ""Yes, everything is big in Texas."" When he reached the hotel, he could feel that the main lobby was huge. He told the manager, ""Your hotel must be really big."" The manager said,"" I know, everything's big in Texas."" Later in the day, he was walking…

A question of scale A Texas rancher and a Vermont dairy farmer are having a conversation about their farming operations at a cattleman's conference. The Vermont man asks how many acres of corn the Texan grew this year. ""I don't grow any."", said the Texan. ""Oh."", said the Vermonter, feeling embarrassed for asking . ""Well, how many acres of alfalfa do you grow then?"" ""None!"", said the Texan. ""So, you just have some pasture then?"", asked the Vermonter. Clearly annoyed by the condescending…

Penguin in Texas A penguin decided he wanted to take a road trip. He had never really been out of Antarctica and really wanted to check out the States, so he flew to Miami and rented a car with the intent of driving to San Diego before flying home. Well, everything is going swimmingly until, somewhere in the middle of Texas when the low oil pressure' light comes on. ""That's not good"" says the penguin. he pulls off the highway and as luck would have it, finds a small town with a service station…