[principal's office] "Your child's previous school indicates you're a bit of a helicopter parent." Velociraptor: That's got to be a typo.

An oldie I heard in elementary school Little Johnny has just started kindergarten and doesn't know the alphabet. As things usually happen, the teacher asks Johnny to recite the alphabet. He tells her that he does not know the alphabet, so she tells him to go home and ask his parents to help him learn it. After school, he runs up the driveway and into the kitchen, where his mom is on the phone with a friend. As he runs in, he yells out ""MOM, WHAT'S THE ALPHABET?"" Being the wonderful mother that…

Don't ask... So one fine day, a young boy is listening to the radio. He has very bad reception so the radio is sort of static, nevertheless, he catches something about a purple donut. His curiosity sparked, he meanders over to his mother and said, ""Momma, what's a purple donut?"" She then gets this wild look in her eye an grabs a bat and begins to vigorously beat the boy. She yells, ""Get your ass to school, when you get home your going to the cellar!"" So he walks to school. He has a bloody no…

So this Isreali send his son to university in Jerusalem... The son comes back on holiday and breaks it to his father that he is now a Christian. The father is completely distraught and runs out the back door. His neighbor sees and ask him what is wrong. ""My son! He goes to Jerusalem and returns a Christian!"" he cries. The neighbor nods his head and say, ""You know, funny you should mention that. My son did the same thing. Lets go talk to the Rabbi."" So they go to synagog and ask to see the Ra…