Thief: “Hands up or else.” David: “Or else what?” Thief: “Don’t get me confused. This is my first job!”#David#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I'm glad David married me for my brains. My glorius, perky, bouncy brains.#David#Marriage#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[Staring deep into David Schwimmer's eyes] "I'm afraid I only like you as a Friend"#David#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"#David#Animals#Work#Driving+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
The real reason David beat Goliath is that when David threw a rock, Goliath threw scissors.#David#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp