[neil degrasse tyson voice] the film is called Home Alone but thats actually a misnomer. in fact, kevin was joined in his home by 2 burglars#Neil#Tyson#Kevin0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I feel like Neil deGrasse Tyson would be the most annoying person in the world to watch Space Jam with#Neil#Tyson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: My experiences with you lead to an increase in dopamine and oxytocin as well#Neil#Tyson#Marriage#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.#Tyson#Dark Humor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Reality show idea: "So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson's Nose." Hidden camera. Tyson isn't in on it.#Touch Mike Tysons#Nose#Tyson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[planning heist] Me: We'll need the element of surprise. Neil deGrasse Tyson: [appears] Actually, such an element does not exist. Hi, I'm Ne#Neil#Tyson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
'Space Jam' never gets old - that's because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don't spoil. Hi, I'm Neil deGrasse Tyson.#Neil#Tyson0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
[boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount#Neil#Tyson#Parents0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers#Neil#Tyson#Marriage0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Neil deGrasse Tyson walks into a bar. Everyone leaves. ""EVERYONE?"" he chuckles to himself. ""7.4 billion humans couldn't fit in this space.""#Neil#Tyson#Bar0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Neil deGrasse Tyson will no longer be hosting NOVA. Looks like they had to cut deGrasse.#Neil#Tyson#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
""If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end, the person will die."" -- Neil deGrasse Tyson https://twitter.com/neiltyson#Neil#Tyson#Dark Humor0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Neil degrasse Tyson was standing in the supermarket. i made this up last night lol Neil degrasse Tyson was standing in the supermarket arguing with his father over which watermelon to buy. When a white employee approached them and said ""Hi, is there anything i can help you with today?"" Neil paused in mid-sentence and said ""NO! I'm sorry but you wouldn't understand... It's a DARK MATTER!""#Neil#Tyson#Work#Parents0🔗 ShareWhatsApp