Turner Jokes

ALBUS: It's a Time-Turner! We can travel back in time and change ANYTHING. SNAPE: That's amazing. We can save- ALBUS: Nah, gave it to a kid.

That girl from The Exorcist was a real head turner

Your mother is a head turner By that I mean that the gravitational field of her planetary body is trying to pull my head in orbit

Christmas cake recipe **Required Ingredients:** * 1 cup of water * 1 cup of sugar * 4 large brown eggs * 2 cups of dried fruit * 1 teaspoon of salt * 1 cup of brown sugar * Lemon juice * Nuts * 1 bottle of whiskey **Preparation:** Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat…

I once dated a mortician... it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person. Though she was a real head-turner.

Vodka Christmas Cake recipe Once again this year, I've had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes. Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. baking powder 1 cup water 1 tsp. salt 1 cup brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 2 cups dried fruit 1 bottle Vodka Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Re…

For my cake day I’ve decided to share my favourite cake recipe I used to have trouble remembering how I did it, so this time I wrote it down while making it. You’ll need 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1...bottle Vodka,2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup o…

What are the 4 dirtiest streets in Philadelphia? Turner, Front, Mascher, Cherry