The Bank Jokes

A guy in his 80s walks into a bank… …walks up to a trekker and says, “I want to open up a damn checking account.” The teller says, “I can help you with that, sir. But please don’t curse at me.” The guy says, “What damn cursing are you talking about? I didn’t damn curse and I just want to open a damn checking account.” The teller says, “Okay, sir, I will be right back.” She goes to the bank president and says, “A guy just came to my window and is cursing at me. I don’t think that I should ha…

A secret agent is sent to Ireland to deliver a top secret package "Go to this small town in Ireland, find our agent named O'Malley and say the following to him: 'the shadows of the moon are getting dark.' He'll reply 'but the sun will guarantee the light.' When he says that, give him the package and head home." So the agent goes to the small Irish town but only sees a handful of shops and a farm. He walks up to the farmer and says "I'm looking for a man named O'Malley." The farmer replies "yo…

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and told the manager: "I'd like to speak with Mr Rodney Wilson, a tried and trusted employee of yours." The bank manager said: "He was certainly trusted, and he'll be tried just as soon as we catch him." What do you call a piece of meat that forecloses your house, causes a global recession and is marketed disproportionately to minorities? Subprime rib.