Sir Says Jokes

Two cannibals walk into a restaurant. They both call ""waiter"". The waiter arrives and asks cannibal #1 ""What is your order?"" ""Human Flesh please."" Says cannibal #1. ""Yes sir, right away sir."" Says the waiter. ""Waiter!"" Shout cannibal #2. ""Yes sir, what is your order?"" Cannibal #2 smiles, picking up his knife and fork. ""That IS my order!""

Delivery Disclaimer: Racist, but a black man told it to me, so I'm allowed to share. There's a really kind-hearted delivery truck driver whose name is Steve. Steve has some good friends that he knows through work. One of his best friends is named Wally. Wally's wife had come down with pneumonia, so Wally, who is assigned to deliver a truckload of bowling balls through a storm, asks Steve to take care of the delivery for him. Being such a kind-hearted person, Steve agrees. Steve leaves early beca…

A little kid is tossing a nickel in the air and catching it in his mouth... The little kid says "Hey dad watch this!" and does it again. This time he actually inhales the nickel and starts choking. The dad realizes what is happening and slaps the kid on the back trying to dislodge the nickel. Nothing. The gives the kid the Heimlich maneuver, still nothing. In his desperation the father calls out, "Help! My son is choking on a nickel. Someone help!" Up walks an attractive woman dressed in a b…

A man is pulled over for drunk driving The cop walks up to his window, “Sir, have you been drunk driving?” “No sir!” Says the man “What’s in that bottle?” Says the cop “Just water sir!” Says the man The cop says, “Hand it to me and let me see” The man hands him the bottle and the cop says “sir this is wine” The man says “ praise the lord and all his miracles!