Roman Empire Jokes

I'll never set a book in the ancient Roman Empire again. Ben Hur, done that.

Nurse: Doctor this man needs an IV! Roman Empire doctor: OF WHAT? HE NEEDS 4 OF WHAT?!

Michele Bachmann vowed to dismantle the US embassy in Iran, which hasn't existed since the 80s. She also promised to crack down on the USSR, support East Germany, and reestablish ties with the Holy Roman Empire. [x-post from r/headlinejokes](http://www.reddit.com/r/headlinejokes/comments/mweiw/michele_bachmann_vowed_to_dismantle_the_us/)

How do you cut the Roman empire in half? You use a pair of Caesars

An Italian, German and Romanian archaeologists are all sitting at a bar... and they are all comparing how great their respective countries are. The Italian, so proud of his noble country and their history, including the Roman empire, says that he will prove that his country was the most advanced. He, being an archaeologist and all, goes and digs 100 feet under ground to find the Roman water systems. He says to his friends ""Voila, look at how advanced my ancestors were, we connected water to eve…

Roman Rollers Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game. The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor. They were the first roller coasters. Back in those days, the disks were made of iron. They would bet on whose disk would roll the farthest. They called them ferrous wheels.

How was the Roman Empire cut in two? With a pair of Caesars.

How would you split the Roman Empire in half? With a pair of Caesars.

How was the roman empire cut in half? With a pair of caesars Edit: fixed

How do you cut the Roman Empire in half? With a pair of Caesars!

How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars.