Rita Jokes

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading ""I can't take the critism anymore."" She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him. As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally ""my dear...that's NOT how you spell criticism!""

If a guy lives in a Spanish speaking country. And has last name is Rita. He would be Senor Rita.

New Girlfriend (38) (*pensively*): Hmmm, I guess things are really getting serious between me and my girlfriend, uh, Rita, because I just added the song ""Lovely Rita"" to my favourites playlist. (*lightheartedly*): I mean, I don't even particularly like that song. **(*Laugh Track*)** (Joke sponsored by Al Tebehalah's Discount Lobotomies)

A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, ""Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"" ""Yes, dear,"" replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. ""But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?""

It would be horrible if a Mexican male's name was rita. Hello, Senior Rita.

A young blonde comes home from school A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?" "Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"

A plumber rings the doorbell "Come in", says the homeowner, Stacy. "Hi, I am the plumber, sorry for being a bit late" "That's fine, my sister must have called for you" "Alright. So where's that disgusting clogged up mess?" "Her name actually is Rita, and she's not home at the moment".

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading “I can’t take the critism anymore.” She quickly cut the rope

A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me?""

Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, " I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom." "Why, what's his new job?" " He's an embalmer."