Mr Bond Jokes

"The rules are quite simple, Mr Bond: I think of a word, you guess letters in that word. If you guess wrong I draw a picture a man hanging."

"Ah, Mr Bond, I-" *closes laptop lid and pulls up trousers* "-wasn't expecting you."

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye." Auric Goldfinger giving instructions at his Easter egg decorating party.

Hello, Mr. Bond. *shuffles UNO cards* I've been expecting you. *sinks into bean bag chair*

A man walks into the doctor's office... Doctor: ""Thanks for meeting with me, James. I've run some tests and it's not looking good."" James: ""Oh."" Doctor: ""You're on a path of self-destruction. The constant alcohol and tobacco abuse has taken a serious toll on your health. You *need* to cut back or your lifespan will be greatly reduced."" James: ""You really expect me to do that?!"" Doctor: *sigh* ""No, Mr. Bond...""

Mr.Bond caught pants down ""Ah, Mr Bond, I-"" *closes laptop lid and pulls up trousers* ""-wasn't expecting you.""

Feeling strange Mr. Bond? It's because I laced your Martini with a vaccine for Measles You now have Autism!

James Bond hits upon hard times and finds himself facing a job seeker interview... James Bond hits upon hard times and finds himself facing a job seeker interview, "Well Mr Bond we have two positions we can offer you, one is giving lectures to children on the benefits of a career in military intelligence, and the other is in the fabric staining department of a yarn mill. " "Do you expect me to talk? " "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to dye. "

“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond?” “Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.” “Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”