Miller Jokes

Dang squirrels There once was a town that was infested with squirrels. They were everywhere and got into everything. The people of the town hated it especially the miller, the blacksmith, and the priest. One day the miller decides that enough is enough and lays out some poisoned four to kill the stupid things off. Well his apprentice mixed up the flours and he ended up having to throw out his whole stock of flour and the squirrels remained Seeing how badly his friend had blundered with his a…

The CEO of Budweiser, Miller and Carlsberg walks into a bar. The CEO of Budweiser walks up to the bar and orders a Budweiser, after which the CEO of Miller orders a Miller. Then the CEO of Carlsberg says to the bartender: "I'll have a glass of water." The others looks baffled and asks him: "Why didn't you order a Carlsberg?". He replies: "Well, since you're not having beer..."

A presidential campaign was vetting potential VPs After the background checks, interviews, and evaluations were complete, three finalists remained. For the last test, Stephen Miller took one of the candidates to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We need to know that you're loyal to the president no matter what. Inside the room you will find a dog. Shoot the dog, and you pass." "You can't be serious", the candidate objected, "I could never shoot a dog!" "Then you're not the right man f…

the head brewmasters of Budweiser Miller

The CEO of Budweiser Miller and Carlsberg walks into a bar.

Dang squirrels There once was a town that was infested with squirrels. They were everywhere and got into everything. The people of the town hated it especially the miller

Arthur Guinness The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a bud, the Ceo of Miller gets a Miller, the head of coors orders a coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn, he orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah" Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer,then neither will I.

Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser? Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

At the height of the Cold War, the Americans and the Russians held a secret meeting to determine which nation had the bravest troops. The challenge took place on a cliff in Finland, hundreds of feet above a sheer drop into a raging river. The American soldier was first to step forward. "Private Miller," barked his platoon commander, "march to the edge of the cliff." Private Miller saluted, and briskly marched to the very edge of the cliff. "Private Miller! Jump!" shouted the commander. But Mille…

The biggest beer producers in the world meet for a conference, and at the end of the day, the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink together at a bar. The president of Budweiser naturally orders a Bud, the president of Miller orders a Miller, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and so on down the list. Then the bartender asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and to everybody's amazement, he orders tea! "Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask suspiciously, wonde…

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bar. For the sake of brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated code word. The brunette walks up to the bartender and says, "Hey give me an ML." The bartender nods his head and hands her a Miller Lite. Following her, the redhead walks up to the bartender and says, "I'd like a BL." Giving her a nod, the bartender pulls up a Bud Lite. Last, the blonde walks up to the bartender and says, "Give me a Fifteen." "A Fifteen?" the bartender repli…