Me And My Jokes

You know you have something special w someone when u start finishing their sentences. But enough about me & my local Subway sandwich artist

[Friend] Kyle, u have to stop referring to your Ballet Club as a "gang" [Me & my gang all do 2 pirouettes and stop in unison] "Not a chance"

[flash mob in front of me & my girl] [I join in then kneel down gasping] "Will you.." "YES!... YE.." "grab me a smoothie from Jamba Juice?"

Friend: "Dude, me & my girlfriend are getting married." ME: "Wow! when?" Friend: "Me on 27th April and she on 14th June."

In elementary I got all the chicks because my box of crayons had a built-in sharpener. Been on a dry spell ever since. Just me & my crayons.

2 girls meet: - me & my husband are no longer together... - why? - well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses? - no, of course I couldn't! - well he couldn't either!