Manuel Neuer Jokes

56% of Brazil is Covered In Rainforest The rest is covered by Manuel Neuer

Germany - Holland Germany Plays Holland in Soccer. After Warm-Ups, Manuel Neuer Walks over to Jogi Loew and asks Loew if he can take on Holland on his own. Loew is like, 'yeah, everybody Needs a Rest anyways, so I'm Fine With it.' So Neuer Plays them on his own, Everybody Else Hits the Showers and then the pub. While drinking, they Hear a Huge Uproar. So Mueller Walks over to the Stadium, and on the video Board it says: Germany 1 - 0 Holland, Minute 10, Neuer. A few Beers later, they Hear a Huge…

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping? A clean sheet.

A fire rages in a high-rise apartment in Germany... and a woman and her baby are stuck on a high floor, looking out the window. The firetruck's ladder cannot reach them, so the woman contemplates throwing the baby down to the firemen but both the mother and the firemen are scared of maybe not catching the baby. Then, Manuel Neuer, Germany's star goalkeeper and the world's best in his position on the pitch, happens to pass by. He then volunteers to catch the baby, as he has fantastic goalkeeping …