Lydia Jokes

Me: I want to do unspeakable things to you. Her: Tell me... Me: Do you know what unspeakable means Lydia?

So I Was Playing Skyrim... and for those that don't know, you get a companion named Lydia. You can tell Lydia to do almost anything. I told Lydia to attack a horse. She started to walk to it, but stopped. I decided to kill the horse myself. After I had killed it, Lydia continued to walk towards the horse. I said, ""Lydia, you don't need to beat a dead horse.""

Two women meet in heaven... There's these two women meeting for the first time in heaven who's names are Carol and Lydia. Carol leans over and asks Lydia what the cause of her death was. Lydia says, "Well I froze to death. How did you die?" To which Carol replies "I died of a massive heart attack." Very concerned, Lydia asks "What caused the heart attack?" Carol starts then explaining on how she thought her husband was cheating on her. And how she had come home early to catch him in the act but…