Lord Jesus Christ Jokes

A priest and a nun are walking in a desert when their camel collapses and dies. Seconds later, the nun starts sobbing uncontrollably. ""It's all right sister, we'll just pray to the Lord"" ""That's not what I'm crying about, Father."" ""Really?"" says the priest, ""what is it then?"" ""I realized that I will die not knowing what a man has inside his pants"" The priest then pulls down his pants and exposes his privates. ""Holy Lord Jesus Christ, what is that?"" exclaims the nun. ""That, sister, i…

A guy gets on a public city bus... and sees this beautiful nun sitting in the front. He sits down next to her and they chit chat for a while. While talking to her all he can think about is how beautiful she is and how much he wants to do her. Finally he builds up the courage to ask her out, to which she refuses. After that the nun gets off. The bus driver, seeing the guy heart broken leans in and says ""hey if you really wanna get it on with that nun, I can help you out, but It's gonna cost you …

A nervous young priest… is preparing for his first sermon. He goes to the elder bishop for advice, who tells him ‘Take a glass of vodka up with you, and every time you start to feel nervous, take a sip. Everyone will just think it’s water and it’ll help calm you down.’ The young priest follows the wise elders advice and delivers a truly impassioned sermon. When he gets back to his office, he finds a note from the bishop with some tips for the future. - Sip the vodka, don’t chug it. - There…