Johns Jokes

Old Man John sits down at the bar and orders a drink. He's wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat, and a phony beard. The bartender sets John's drink down and asks, "Going to a party, John?" "Yeah," John answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life." "But you look like Abe Lincoln," argues the barkeep. "That's right... My last four scores were seven years ago!"

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, John, what was your toast?" John Said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John," Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on…