Highland Jokes

I'm French and was at the bar with my Irish and Scottish friends As we were leaving a crowd of rowdy South Africans start jibing them to fight. The Irish man said"" Boys, I've been smacking jokers since McGregor was a wee lad, get behind me and I'll sort 'em!"" The Scottish man, not to be outdone replied ""Ahck, I'm stronger than ten men at the Highland guys. Get behind me lads and I'll finish this!"" I was going to finish this joke but I give up.

Highland Guard The Captain of the Highland Guards walks into an apothecary, throws onto the counter a well worn condom full of holes, and says, ""Houu much to ha it rrrrepaired?"" The druggist replies, ""Four pence."" The Captain says, ""Houu much to ha it rrrreplaced?"" The druggist replies, ""A shilling."" The Captain says, ""I'll be rrright bach,"" and walks out of the shop. The Captain returns, and says, ""I ha spoken wit tha men! They ha voted to ha it rrrepiared.""