Gladys Jokes

Well, well, well. I guess my silver letter opener isn't so "gaudy" now that there's a rampaging werewolf in the house, is it, Gladys?

Those thrifty Yorkshire lads The couple had been happily married for 50 years. The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion,""How Much?!!!"" He reluctantly produced his wallet. ""I want summat simple,"" he explained,""my Gladys was a good-hearted and hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted to be owt swanky'. ""Perhaps a small poem,"" suggested the woman at the desk. ""Nay,"" he said, ""she wunt ave wa…

HAPPY BUTT A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, ""Happy Butt."" The teacher says, ""I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."" The girl goes to the principal's office and he asks, ""What's your name?"" The little girl says, ""Happy Butt."" The principal calls the girl's mother to get the truth. After getting off the phone, he says, ""Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."" The girl exclaims, ""Glad Ass -- …

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: ""Yes mother I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm but it is hard. Well you know how she is. ""Yes I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. ""You were perfectly right. ""You want to speak with her? All right."" He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: ""Gl…

In an old folks home Gladys notices that Arthur's been looking down lately

It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt." The teacher said, "Honey, I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out." So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?" And the little girl said, Happy Butt." The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little …