Well, well, well. I guess my silver letter opener isn't so "gaudy" now that there's a rampaging werewolf in the house, is it, Gladys?

Original joke I thought of recently. So, Arthur's dad is writing a letter to his sister when he suddenly feels a sharp pain in his hand. So he yells,   __ARTHUR! ARTHUR!__ ""Yeah, Dad, what's going on?"" __ARTHUR!__ ""Dad, what's wrong?"" __Quick, don't ask any questions. I'm going to say some words and you write them down.__ ""Why can't you write them down?"" __Arthur, write this.__ _(If it doesn't make sense, read the last line out loud.)_

Those thrifty Yorkshire lads The couple had been happily married for 50 years. The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion,""How Much?!!!"" He reluctantly produced his wallet. ""I want summat simple,"" he explained,""my Gladys was a good-hearted and hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted to be owt swanky'. ""Perhaps a small poem,"" suggested the woman at the desk. ""Nay,"" he said, ""she wunt ave wa…

HAPPY BUTT A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, ""Happy Butt."" The teacher says, ""I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."" The girl goes to the principal's office and he asks, ""What's your name?"" The little girl says, ""Happy Butt."" The principal calls the girl's mother to get the truth. After getting off the phone, he says, ""Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."" The girl exclaims, ""Glad Ass -- …