Hans turns up for his first day with the German Coast Guard. He's shown round the building, then taken to his new position as radio operator. ""Gut Mornink, Hans,"" says the old hand. ""As you are ze new guy, I am off to ze bier keller. Just remember, all international radio traffic must be in ze English"", and leaves. Hans sits listening to the radio for a while, when he hears a call. ""Mayday, Mayday - help us, can anyone hear us?"" ""Yar,"" says Hans. ""Vot is Ze Problem?"" ""Thank god,"" com…