Mary & Paddy There's an old couple in bed. Mary and Paddy. And they wake up on the morning of their fiftieth anniversary. And Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddy, she's like, ""Aw, Jesus, Paddy. You're such a good lookin' feller. I love you. I want to give you a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I'm going to give it to ya'. What would you like?"" And Paddy's like, ""Aw, gee, Mary, that's a very sweet offer. Now, in fifty years, there's one thing that's been missing…