Amy Winehouse Jokes

Amy Winehouse went to the Glastonbury Festival. Poor Amy had to wade through dirt, needles, rubbish and people lying around everywhere . . . just to get out of her flat.

The Olympic opening ceremony featured representatives from 205 countries. Or, as Angelina Jolie calls it, one-stop shopping. Amy Winehouse was disappointed when it was explained to her that she had won five Grammys and not five grammes.

Lindsay Lohan walked into a bank to withdraw some money. The bank clerk asked: "Can you identify yourself?" Lindsay opened her handbag, looked in a mirror and said: "Yes, it's definitely me." Heard a report about Lindsay Lohan getting busted with coke in her car. That's a story? Call me when they find a book in her car. Dave Attell I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her. Zoe Lyons