Arriving home drunk one night, a husband cut himself when he walked into an overhanging shelf in the garage. With blood trickling down his face, he went straight upstairs to the bathroom to carry out repairs on his wounds. The next morning his wife said: "You came home drunk last night, didn't you?" "No," he replied, mustering all the sincerity at his disposal. "Then perhaps you can explain to me why there are plasters all over the bathroom mirror?" Eggnog, who thought that one up? 'I wanna get …