Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?

PIG: "I'm paranoid everyone's trying to turn me into bacon" PSYCHIATRIST: "I'll cure you" PIG: "Oh God, not you too"

DR DOG: *applying a cast to a broken bone* Are you sure you don't just want me to cut it off?

[During surgery] DR DOG: Suction please. NURSE: But there's no bleeding. DR DOG: I know *drooling* but just look at that liver!